Lately I have become more and more aware of the fact that life is about choices and decisions. We have the power to create the life we want. Often times we fall into these “ruts” in life where it is hard to see a solution to the state that we are in. Perhaps we’ve been in a season of spending more than we make and then are hit with a car repair bill. Or maybe you have recently gotten out of a tough relationship and just find yourself binge eating or drinking to numb the pain. These are obvious and common situations we can find ourselves in. For you it might be a bigger rut. Maybe life just hasn’t turned out how you had hoped. You had it all planned out and one thing after another has pushed you down. It could be a job that you didn’t get or a failed relationship or a lifestyle that you’re not happy with.
For myself, I was 100% sure that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. I had a plan that would get my college education paid for and I would be able to work 9 months of the year and travel the other 3! How amazing does that sound?! Well it was all going to plan until I started doubting if that’s what I really wanted. At that point my plans fell apart. Not unlike many other young adults I was at a crossroads unsure of what to do. This lead to years of questioning what the heck I was here for.
Have you found yourself in any of these situations, or something similar? Maybe you are there right now. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we are in a rut. We just think that this is what life is for us now. The thing is life gets busy and there are so many distractions. It can be impossible to recognize the rut we are in when we are getting up early for work or to take the kids to school and coming home exhausted. It is easier to fall down exhausted on the couch to watch some netflix than it is to take some time to yourself and get clear on what it is that is bothering you. The great news is that there are ways to open your eyes to what is going on, and there are people you can reach out to!
Here are a few ways to help you recognize the rut your in and how to get out of them…
- Common Reaction: What is your common reaction to life’s situations. Do you get angry at the drop of a hat? Are you constantly blaming others for your misfortunes? Do you find yourself feeling guilty constantly? Are you worrying about things that seem trivial?
Discover: Spend 2 minutes reflecting on your most common thoughts and reactions to things. If you are struggling, ask someone who knows you well. You may be surprised at what they say.
- Feelings Test: What would you say is your general state of being. Are you a
happy person? SImilar to above, do you worry constantly? Or are you able to have joy in most situations. We can’t expect to be happy 100% of the time. That’s just weird. What we can expect and strive for is to be in a state of joy more often than not!
Discover: Same as above. If you spend a minute or two reflecting. What
would you say your common mood is? Is it what you want it to be?
Getting out of a rut is hard work. Our brain is designed to think and act in patterns. The patterns that we develop can be hard to break. The thing is, if we want to live a fulfilled and joy filled life we need to put in this work. Just like anything, you get out of life what you put into it. If you find yourself developing a habit of binge drinking and watching netflix every night that will soon be what your life is. On the contrary, if you consciously decide that you want to be about reading good books and living a healthy lifestyle, you can do that to. It takes planning, persistence and patience.
If this is you and you have not been able to get out of a rut by yourself. Don’t worry!! You are not alone. Helping people get out of ruts and live the life they have always dreamed of is what we at OnBoard Coaching love to do! To learn more about what this process looks like schedule a free introductory session today!